Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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