my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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