I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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