When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You dont lie about slip and slides
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
