omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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