I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
