Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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