i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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