Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
