I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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