If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
