Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
