'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
