Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
