New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
