like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
