my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
