i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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