i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
The adults are the big ones right?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
