it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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