lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
