In the future we'll all be gay
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
