This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
it's like heaven, but drunker
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
