I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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