My first STD was from a foam party
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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