Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
