if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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