Please don't use social media to get back at me.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
