North Korea, Best Korea!
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
