Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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