fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Your cock deserves a montage
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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