it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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