cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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