from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
