Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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