my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
