I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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