We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
