I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
