did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
