so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
We got so high we made milksteak
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Come see our sink grown plant.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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