i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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