If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
