Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
