do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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