just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
