ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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