you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
