yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
