I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Randomize
