i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I queefed so loud it echoed.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
