he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
