why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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