Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
