So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I am mentally ready for anal.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize