your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
