I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
