I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
