Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
