Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
