Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
