dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
