Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
