Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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